long wattled umbrellabirdimage credit: ioe.ucla.edu

long wattled umbrellabirdimage credit: martinreid.com

long-wattled umbrellabirdimage credit: findingspecies.org
Habitat: western Columbia & Ecuador

The midnight black Long-Wattled Umbrellabird is a very handsome fellow. He has some rather odd hairstyles and accessories that make him one of the most easily identifiable birds out there. Depending on their mood, the males can slick back their crest feathers which sit atop their head (bottom photo) to appear more cool and dashing. Or, they can fan the feathers out around their head to show they’re aroused, while appearing like Elvis on a bad hair day (top photo).

The major fashion piece adorned by the Long-Wattled Umbrellabird is – you guessed it – it’s long wattle. The wattle is a thin, feather-covered flap of skin that is around 18 inches long, and hangs down from his neck to his tail. The wattle looks kind of like a ruffle on a tuxedo shirt but functions more like a gold chain, attracting only the sexiest of guido suitors.

I guess I can understand the attraction here, that thing is pretty impressive.

But I’d still prefer my guy to do this instead. Bring me some berries, bitch.